Recovery Tip: Being Human Is Not a Character Defect

Here is a Recovery Tip for those in recovery from addiction or from the effects of addiction due to a relationship with someone with addictive disease: "Being Human Is Not A Character Defect." This language is a quote from the Al-Anon (the !2 Step Program of recovery for those hurt by addiction in a significant other) publication, Courage to Change: One Day at a Time in Al-Anon II(1992, May 30, page 151).

Individuals in recovery tend to be perfectionists even in their recovery programs. Steps 6 and 7 of the Twelve Steps of recovery suggest the need to identify character defects and seek spiritual strength to remove them. The emphasis is on reducing self-centeredness which is said to be the root of the addiction problem. Recovering individuals with all positive intentions may consider all self-centered emotional reactions as negative reflections on their recovery progress, that is, that human emotional reactions are self-centered and, therefore, bad or wrong. Hence, the title of this Recovery Tip: Being Human Is Not A Character Defect!

Feelings are not good or bad; they are natural emotional reactions that all human beings, recovering from addiction or just "normal" people (earth people), have. Being fearful of serious surgery; feeling deep grief over the loss of a loved one; or experiencing anger at an unjust event, are all normal human reactions. The key, of course, is in how we recovering individuals react to these realities of life and resulting feelings. Fortunately, recovering individuals have many recovery tools to apply to these normal life problems and their emotions. Here are just a few tools: slogans such as, "this too shall pass", "turn it over", "live just for today"; sharing with another trustworthy individual or even group; and asking for spiritual strength.

As always, comments are invited. Jan Edward Williams, www.alcoholdrugsos.com, 06/24/2014.

How the Painful Past Is an Asset in Recovery, Part I

Individuals with the disease of addiction have accumulated a vast reservoir of pain and consequences resulting from their behaviors while in active addiction. Indeed, many use drugs or alcohol to numb the pain and avoid having to deal with the consequences of addiction. One of the paradoxical rewards of recovery from addiction is that the pain and consequences of addiction become a positive resource not only for the individual addict or alcoholic responsible for the pain and consequences, but also for those in the throes of active addiction or seeking to recover from addiction whom the addict or alcoholic seeks to help.

Thus, the recovering addict or alcoholic can use the painful past as an asset by tapping into his/her reservoir of pain and consequences in two basic ways: 1) To aid in self-diagnosis as an addict or alcoholic, and internalize the concepts of the first of the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous, powerlessness and unmanageability; and 2) to help another alcoholic or addict to seek recovery using the twelve steps (the 12^thStep, carrying the message). I will elaborate here on the first of these two ways in which the past is an asset in recovery. I will address the second way (use of the past to help others) in my next blog post, "How the Painful Past Is an Asset in Recovery, Part II."

1) Step One of the 12 Steps states: “we admitted we were powerless over alcohol” *** (AA), or “over our addiction *** (NA), and that “our lives had become unmanageable.” Basically, to successfully complete Step One and take the first, fundamental action that will begin recovery, that is, hopefully cessation of use of alcohol or other drugs, the individual must examine past use of his/her substances and the resulting pain and consequences to him/her and those around him/her, stemming from such use. This examination of the past, while painful, can help the individual to become willing to abstain from further drug or alcohol use and to begin the process of recovery using the remainder of the 12 Steps. Early recovery from addiction is exceedingly painful; individuals often feel overwhelmed with guilt, remorse, and shame, among other feelings. It can be helpful for the individual to be able to see how these “negative” feelings can in fact be used to reinforce ownership of the “powerlessness” required to complete Step One. Thus, as stated in the basic text of Alcoholics Anonymous, referring to how the past can be of aid to alcoholics and families of alcoholics:

"Henry Ford once made a wise remark to the effect that experience is the thing of supreme value in life. That is true only if one is willing to turn the past to good account. We grow by our willingness to face and rectify errors and convert them into assets. The alcoholic's past thus becomes the principal asset of the family and frequently it is almost the only one! (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 124).”

"How the Painful Past Is an Asset in Recovery, Part II", will be coming soon in another post. As always, comments are invited. Jan Edward Williams, www.alcoholdrugsos.com, 06/09/2014.

Use of “Smart Drugs” May Make You Stupid

A word of caution to young people and their parents: use of non-prescribed stimulant drugs to boost academic performance can have adverse effects. Recent research summarized inScienceDaily of May 13, 2014, by scientists at the University of Delaware and Drexel University College of Medicine, suggest that abuse by young people of stimulants, often called smart drugs, to help them with academic tasks, can be harmful to developing brains. Drugs such as methylphenidate (Ritalin, Concerta) legitimately prescribed to treat ADHD in children, and modafinil (Provigil) prescribed by physicians to treat sleep disorders such as narcolepsy, are abused by millions of young people in the U.S. to enhance their focus, memory, vigilance, and ability to function without sleep.

Research has shown that “…that young, developing brains are particularly sensitive to methylphenidate: even low dosages early in life can reduce nerve activity, working memory, and the ability to quickly switch between tasks and behaviors. Such mental flexibility is important for complex motoric learning, interpersonal skills, and work performance.” Similar dangers to the brain have been suggested in the case of use of modafinil.

One of the researchers stated: "What's safe for adults is not necessarily safe for kids," warns Urban. "The human brain continues to develop until our late twenties or early thirties. Young people are especially prone to abuse smart drugs, but also more vulnerable to any side-effects. We simply don't know enough about the long-term effects of these drugs on the developing brain to conclude they are safe."

So, the point is that abuse by young people of legitimate drugs, meaning non-prescribed use, to stimulate the brain even for seemingly positive goals such as enhancing academic performance, and not to get high, may have adverse effects on the still developing brain (cn be developing well into early twenties). Other research has shown that college students who use stimulants to pull “all nighters” usually are students with a history of poor academic performance.

As always, comments are invited. Jan Edward Williams,www.alcoholdrugsos.com, 05/20/2014.

Recovery Tip: Recovery Is Not Based Just on Helping Others

One often hears in 12 Step recovery circles that "this is a 'We' " program, that "we can do together what I can't do alone." It is undeniably true that 12 Step recovery is based on the unique ability of one alcoholic or addict to help another. Also heard in 12 Step meetings, often from individuals in early recovery, is the declaration that helping other alcoholics or addicts is the cornerstone of their recovery. I have been reflecting on this emphasis on helping others, and have a few observations (solely my own opinion, of course). My concern is that the focus on helping others might distract the individual helping and the one helped from the primary result sought through 12 Step recovery, namely, a relationship with God, a Higher Power, or other source of spiritual strength.

Step 12, which is the principle underlying the action of helping other alcoholics or addicts, states unequivocally that "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics..." The clear emphasis is on developing a spiritual awakening based on application over time of the other 11 steps to one's recovery. So, my first point is that 12 Step work has a spiritual basis and focus. It, of course, feels good to help others and the supportive Fellowship of the 12 Step programs is vital in instilling hope and a feeling of belonging in the newcomer. Helping others develops a relationship between the person helping and the person helped. That relationship, though helpful to the helper and person helped, is not the ultimate relationship that is the goal of 12 Step recovery. The relationship that long term recovery depends upon is the relationship the individual develops with God, a Higher Power, or other source of spiritual strength.

In other words, both those who help the newcomer to recover and the newcomers who receive the help, need, in my view, to bear in mind that all of the energy expended by helper and the person helped is for the purpose of developing a relationship with God or other source of spiritual strength. The AA basic text, or, Big Book, states clearly that the alcoholic's recovery "... is not dependent upon people. It is dependent upon his relationship with God ((Alcoholics Anonymous, Working with Others, pp. 99-100)."

As always, comments are invited. Jan Edward Williams, www.alcoholdrugsos.com, 04/24/2014.

Serenity Prayer: Tool for Emotional Health

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The Serenity Prayer is a well known spiritual tool used in 12 Step recovery whose origins are unclear. Most attribute the prayer to the Christian (Protestant) theologian, Rheinhold Niebuhr (Karl Paul Rheinhold Niebuhr, 1892-1971). Here is a long version of Niebuhr's prayer, with some Christian context:

"God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed,
courage to change the things which should be changed,
and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,Enjoying one moment at a time,Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,Taking, as Jesus did,This sinful world as it is,Not as I would have it,Trusting that You will make all things right,If I surrender to Your will,So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,And supremely happy with You forever in the next.Amen."

In any event, I heard an interpretation of the Serenity Prayer, I think from a Father Martin film (remember those things on reels?), that I have used for over 36 years as a tool for managing almost all life's realities. Here it is:

God (or other source of spiritual strength),
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change--Other people and many events;

Grant me the courage to change the things I can--Me, and how I react to other people and many events in my life.

In my experience, an individual always has the power to be in charge of how he/she reacts to life's problems. So, the goal is to seek the strength from God, a Higher Power, or other source of spiritual strength, to monitor one's emotional reactions and adopt a positive response., such as turning the problem over (Step 3 of the 12 Steps), sharing the problem with a trustworthy friend (perhaps a sponsor or other recovering person), or simply recognizing the problem or issue as one that needs to be accepted or put aside.

As always, comments are invited. Jan Edward Williams, www.alcoholdrugsos.com, 04/12/2014.

Can Feeling Unloveable as a Child Be a Setup for Addiction?

In a summary published in ScienceDaily for March 20, 2014, researchers reported that persons who abuse alcohol and other drugs may do so because of an insufficiency in the amounts of a hormone called oxytocin present in their bodies from childhood. The study was published in the international journal Pharmacology, Biochemistry and Behavior.

Oxytocin, called the “love hormone”, is thought to be responsible for producing feelings of bonding, fellowship, and wellbeing. The hormone is involved in helping “*** humans [to be] more trusting toward one another [and may be] crucial to how [they] form and maintain romantic relationships. A handful of new studies show that oxytocin makes [individuals] more sympathetic, supportive and open with *** feelings (Scientific American).”

Research has also shown that oxytocin is involved in emotional pain, including development of anxiety and depression. “Oxytocin appears to be the reason stressful social situations, perhaps being bullied at school or tormented by a boss, reverberate long past the event and can trigger fear and anxiety in the future. *** If a social experience is negative or stressful, the hormone activates a part of the brain that intensifies the memory. Oxytocin also increases the susceptibility to feeling fearful and anxious during stressful events going forward (ScienceDaily)."

In the current study under discussion here, a researcher stated: “***some people's lack of resilience to addictive behaviors may be linked to poor development of their oxytocin systems."

"We know that newborn babies already have levels of oxytocin in their bodies, and this helps to create the all-important bond between a mother and her child. But our oxytocin systems aren't fully developed when we're born -- they don't finish developing until the age of three, which means our systems are potentially subject to a range of influences both external and internal***. “ The researcher theorized that: “***adversity in early life is key to the impaired development of the oxytocin system. This adversity could take the form of a difficult birth, disturbed bonding or abuse, deprivation, or severe infection, to name just a few factors.” These environmental influences can result in dysfunction of oxytocin development and production, which in turn can make the individual more vulnerable to addiction, perhaps in part due to the increased anxiety and depression, and a feeling of being unloveable.

So, we have more theories that may help explain why some individuals may be more prone than others to develop a drug or alcohol problem. It is important to emphasize here that while scientific theories may explain development of addiction, the individual seeking recovery from addiction must take personal responsibility for all of the pain and consequences caused by his/her behaviors while drinking or drugging. Failure to accept such responsibility can enable the individual to justify continued drug or alcohol use.

As always, comments are invited. Jan Edward Williams,www.alcoholdrugsos.com, 04/01/2014.

A Recovery Paradox: Dependence on A Higher Power Promotes Independence in All Life Areas

Central to recovery from addiction using the 12 Step Programs (for example, Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous) is the development of a relationship with a God of one’s understanding (a Higher Power) or other source of spiritual strength. As stated in AA’s basic text, Alcoholics Anonymous, called the “Big Book”, the experience of the early AA members makes clear three pertinent ideas:

“(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives. 

(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism. 

(c) That God could and would if He were sought (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 60).”

The 12 Steps suggest that the recovering individual decide to turn his/her “will and life over to the care of God” as the individual understands God to be, and are geared toward guiding the individual to a spiritual awakening. It is clear that foundation for recovery in the 12 Step Programs is dependent upon the development and nurturing of an ongoing relationship with a source of spiritual strength. Again, as stated in the AA Big Book: “***The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 43).

Newcomers to recovery, as well as many researchers in the addiction field, have reservations about the spirituality of the 12 Step Programs, expressing concern that turning one’s life over to the care of God or a Higher Power may foster an unhealthy dependence on AA of NA and somehow prevent the individual from self-actualization and independence. In fact and in practice, the spiritual strength developed in 12 Step recovery enables the individual to set aside fear, insecurities, unhealthy attachments, including, of course, abuse of alcohol and other drugs, and to utilize all of the innate strengths and abilities that were hindered and distorted by addiction.

The Big Book lists a number of promises that stem from the process of 12 Step recovery: “We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 84).”

Indeed, the co-founder of AA, Bill Wilson, directly addresses the erroneous notion that dependence on a Higher Power or other source of spiritual strength may produce and unhealthy dependence: “The more we become willing to depend upon a Higher Power, the more independent we actually are. Therefore, dependence, as A.A. practices it, is really a means of gaining true independence of the spirit (Step 3, 12 Steps and 12 Traditions).”

As always, comments are invited. Jan Edward Williams, www.alcoholdrugsos.com, 03/18/2014.