Recovery Tip: Being Human Is Not a Character Defect

Here is a Recovery Tip for those in recovery from addiction or from the effects of addiction due to a relationship with someone with addictive disease: "Being Human Is Not A Character Defect." This language is a quote from the Al-Anon (the !2 Step Program of recovery for those hurt by addiction in a significant other) publication, Courage to Change: One Day at a Time in Al-Anon II(1992, May 30, page 151).

Individuals in recovery tend to be perfectionists even in their recovery programs. Steps 6 and 7 of the Twelve Steps of recovery suggest the need to identify character defects and seek spiritual strength to remove them. The emphasis is on reducing self-centeredness which is said to be the root of the addiction problem. Recovering individuals with all positive intentions may consider all self-centered emotional reactions as negative reflections on their recovery progress, that is, that human emotional reactions are self-centered and, therefore, bad or wrong. Hence, the title of this Recovery Tip: Being Human Is Not A Character Defect!

Feelings are not good or bad; they are natural emotional reactions that all human beings, recovering from addiction or just "normal" people (earth people), have. Being fearful of serious surgery; feeling deep grief over the loss of a loved one; or experiencing anger at an unjust event, are all normal human reactions. The key, of course, is in how we recovering individuals react to these realities of life and resulting feelings. Fortunately, recovering individuals have many recovery tools to apply to these normal life problems and their emotions. Here are just a few tools: slogans such as, "this too shall pass", "turn it over", "live just for today"; sharing with another trustworthy individual or even group; and asking for spiritual strength.

As always, comments are invited. Jan Edward Williams, www.alcoholdrugsos.com, 06/24/2014.

How the Painful Past Is an Asset in Recovery, Part I

Individuals with the disease of addiction have accumulated a vast reservoir of pain and consequences resulting from their behaviors while in active addiction. Indeed, many use drugs or alcohol to numb the pain and avoid having to deal with the consequences of addiction. One of the paradoxical rewards of recovery from addiction is that the pain and consequences of addiction become a positive resource not only for the individual addict or alcoholic responsible for the pain and consequences, but also for those in the throes of active addiction or seeking to recover from addiction whom the addict or alcoholic seeks to help.

Thus, the recovering addict or alcoholic can use the painful past as an asset by tapping into his/her reservoir of pain and consequences in two basic ways: 1) To aid in self-diagnosis as an addict or alcoholic, and internalize the concepts of the first of the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous, powerlessness and unmanageability; and 2) to help another alcoholic or addict to seek recovery using the twelve steps (the 12^thStep, carrying the message). I will elaborate here on the first of these two ways in which the past is an asset in recovery. I will address the second way (use of the past to help others) in my next blog post, "How the Painful Past Is an Asset in Recovery, Part II."

1) Step One of the 12 Steps states: “we admitted we were powerless over alcohol” *** (AA), or “over our addiction *** (NA), and that “our lives had become unmanageable.” Basically, to successfully complete Step One and take the first, fundamental action that will begin recovery, that is, hopefully cessation of use of alcohol or other drugs, the individual must examine past use of his/her substances and the resulting pain and consequences to him/her and those around him/her, stemming from such use. This examination of the past, while painful, can help the individual to become willing to abstain from further drug or alcohol use and to begin the process of recovery using the remainder of the 12 Steps. Early recovery from addiction is exceedingly painful; individuals often feel overwhelmed with guilt, remorse, and shame, among other feelings. It can be helpful for the individual to be able to see how these “negative” feelings can in fact be used to reinforce ownership of the “powerlessness” required to complete Step One. Thus, as stated in the basic text of Alcoholics Anonymous, referring to how the past can be of aid to alcoholics and families of alcoholics:

"Henry Ford once made a wise remark to the effect that experience is the thing of supreme value in life. That is true only if one is willing to turn the past to good account. We grow by our willingness to face and rectify errors and convert them into assets. The alcoholic's past thus becomes the principal asset of the family and frequently it is almost the only one! (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 124).”

"How the Painful Past Is an Asset in Recovery, Part II", will be coming soon in another post. As always, comments are invited. Jan Edward Williams, www.alcoholdrugsos.com, 06/09/2014.